Autism should come with a warning label, maybe something like THIS:
BC: Before Children, I would judge other parents if their kids we acting out, I mean can't they control their own kids? I know, I was naive and had no compassion.
AS: After Spencer, I have been humbled and look upon others with compassion and empathy because I've been in their shoes. You never know what is going on in their lives to make them act the way they do. I've stopped judging and try to help, even if it's just by giving them an understanding smile.
Having Spencer has stretched me and made me grow in ways I didn't know were possible. My shy, introverted self is forced to speak up and become an advocate for my son's needs. Thankfully I am not doing this alone. Family and friends have been there to help, and I have a very supportive husband who helps me be a better mom to my son when I think things are too hard.
Some days are better than others and there are some times in a day when I feel we are a 'normal' family without the cloud of autism hanging over us. But lately autism has been raging out of control and we're doing what we can to calm the storm. Sorry for getting so personal, but this is what we are going through right now and I just wanted to share some of my thoughts.
Anyone else battling autism? How are you handling it?
Christa, I really enjoyed knowing your thoughts on this subject, and the quotes that you posted are so important. I've been thinking about them a lot. I read another blog post yesterday that I thought you might enjoy as I did...like your post, it was uplifting for me, and helped me appreciate my time as a parent with a slightly new perspective. I just thought I should share it with you:
ReplyDeletehttp://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
(I'm not sure if my last reply disappeared into cyberspace or if it's awaiting your approval to show up on the blog, but I don't know where it went, so I'm going to try once more)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking a lot about what you shared in this post, and I really appreciated knowing your thoughts here. I do not have first-hand experience raising an autistic child, but my husband's older brother also has asperger's syndrome, so I've become only slightly familiar with it. I especially appreciated the quotes that you posted.
But I also wanted to share with you another blog article that I read yesterday, that like your post, was uplifting to me and helped me appreciate parenting with a slightly new perspective. I thought of you and wanted to share:
http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
Best wishes in getting back into your routine.
Thanks for the kind words and for sharing another post. I read it and can certainly relate to her.
ReplyDeleteYour post echoed in my heart. I was one of those judging people even after I had my first three kids. My kids never acted out in public, and then along came Tristan who has Autism and frequently has meltdowns in public, school, stores and any kind of dr. Offices. I see those other people and parents looking and have even had some comment to me on Tristans behavior. I have said life would be easier for all of us if Tristan had been born with something like Down Syndrome because atleast people would be able to see his disability. I am not making light of Down Syndrome, only to say that when people look at Autistic kids you cant always tell they have a problem and then they may be branded as "brats" . So like you I have learned, tolerance, compassion, and understanding from what we have gone through. Life lesson can definitley be harsh ones to learn. I have even had people yell at my son in the store and ofcourse that really freaked him out and he wound up crawling under the counter in the store in a ball crying. I have learned to tuck him behind me if people are giving him the look, and telling him it will be ok, extra hugs and touches to reassure him. I do this for him not them, if they still feel the need to speak and just dont get it I just cut them off and say please do not speak to my son he is Autistic and just cant handle the interaction. It quiets some, other feel the need to tell me about a friend who has an Autistic child and what diet they put their child on, but atleast it takes all the attention and stress off Tristan. I also let him help me shop this causes him to focus on something else and not the people around hin, and controls the meltdowns and lets him feel usefull, which is really all he wants.
ReplyDelete